How to Write Wedding Vows: The Ultimate Guide
Writing wedding vows can be intimidating and thrilling at the same time. A lot of couples become overwhelmed thinking about how to write wedding vows. It can be stressful to sit down and attempt to sum all of their love, promises, and dreams to their partner. However, it’s well worth it once you are in front of each other exchanging words. If you’re up for the challenge to write your wedding vows, then get ready to pin this page to make sure you cover everything you need to as you prepare to write your vows.
How to Write Your Wedding Vows
Writing your vows doesn’t have to be scary or hard for anyone. We think wedding vows can actually be straight forward! Follow these steps to prepare and create the perfect template for your wedding vows.
1. Talk about what you love about your partner
Who is your partner to you? Define who your honey is, and what he or she means to you.
2. Think of writing a short story about your love life
As you draft your ideas together, think about how you met or fun and adventurous moments between you two. This will give a personal touch to your vows and show your partner how you see your relationship through your eyes.
3. Dedicate a section where you define what you are promising to your partner
Writing your own vows can easily turn into a mini-rant. To keep yourself focused, after the first two steps, think about what promises you want to make to your partner. You can also mix in some religious wedding vows, bible verses, or traditional pledges here.
4. Break the ice and make it personal
After you made your promises, make sure to break the ice and make your partner laugh. Don’t be afraid to bring a little humor into your vows. By adding a few laughs, you are creating wedding vows that help relieve some nerves and stay true to the two of you.
5. Set some goals and wrap it up
After all the steps above, make sure to think about your goals and future as a couple. Think of yourselves as a team, and don’t be afraid to talk about the family you one day hope to have, or what you are looking forward to sharing together. Then, end your vows promising to love your partner “as long as we both shall live”.
Tips for Writing Your Wedding Vows
Now that we went over an easy guideline for you to follow, here are 10 tips to think about and inspire you as you start writing your wedding vows.
1. Get Inspired
The best way to write your own wedding vows is to become inspired. Put together a playlist of different romantic songs, read old letters from each other, or look at old photographs. Walking down memory lane could be a useful tool to get in the “mood” and help get the words flowing. Another great way to get inspired is to read poems, books, or even watch a good romantic movie.
2. Make a List of All Your Thoughts
Even if you plan on writing your vows days before or the morning of your wedding day, have a list you can go back to and make sure you have covered all the bases. It’s so easy to forget to write something or skip over it. This list will be a great starting point to help you focus.
3. Don’t Stress
Pro tip: don’t stress trying to cover everything in your wedding vows. While we understand you may want to fit everything you are feeling into your vow book, it’s impossible. You have your whole lives to tell your honey how much you love them.
4. Find a Quiet Place
While many may say to write your vows days before your actual wedding, we actually love it when photographers capture the moment where the bride and groom write down their vows before they get ready during their elopement. This is probably the most ideal time because your heart and mind are completely on your wedding day free from any distractions. With that being said, find someplace quiet and comfortable to write down your wedding vows. You don’t want to lose your train of thought because too many people are around you.
5. Tell your partner you'll be there through thick and thin.
Most wedding vows touch on sticking around through good times and bad. "The reality is all marriages have cycles of peaks and valleys," Honaman says. "It's nice to communicate your intent to get through those valleys together."
6. Say, “I love You”
This may sound shocking, but a lot of couples tend to forget to say these three little words in their vows. Often, they will get so wrapped up in all the other details, they forget to say the words that mean the most. Take a moment, more than once, to remind your partner how much you love him or her.
7. Make Promises You’ll Keep
As you sit down at your quiet spot and write down your vows, think about what’s important to both of you. Think about what goals you both want to accomplish, and what promises you want to make. Most wedding vows, touch on sticking around through the good times and the bad. It’s nice to bring up that marriage won’t always be sunshine and rainbows, and how ready and you’re ok with that. Promise to stick by their side, but also promise to put down the toilet seat.
8. Get Personal With It
We touched upon this, but you don’t have to make your vows 100% romantic because no relationship is ever 100% candlelit dinners and roses. Your partner also wants to hear about what makes your relationship authentic. Talk about the late-night binge eating to a whole season on Netflix, or that crazy time you both got stranded exploring somewhere new. Make your vows raw and unapologetically you.
9. Don't wait until the last minute.
Plan to have your vows written three weeks before your wedding. Trust us: You'll be thankful for the rehearsal when those wedding-day jitters kick in.
10. Keep Your Vows a Secret
Think of your wedding vows as a wedding present to each other. While we do suggest talking about the length you both should write for each other (you don’t want to write 2 pages and have your partner write 10!), we think everything else should be kept a secret. This is a great time to show your partner how you see them through your eyes.
Brainstorming Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Write
If you are still struggling to get started, then check out these questions to get your ideas rolling!
Where did you first meet?
What did you think when you first saw your partner?
When did you realize you were in love?
How has your life changed since you met each other?
What is something you both love doing together?
What hard times did you both get through?
Is there a song or quote that you feel represents your relationship?
Do you have any inside jokes?
Wedding Vow Examples to Inspire Your Own
Traditional
• "Gabriel, you came into my life at exactly the right time: When I wasn't ready, and yet, when I needed your love the most. In the past two years, we've experienced great triumphs and literal disasters together. These trials have pushed the boundaries of what we thought we could endure, and in the end, I feel more strongly connected with you in a resolve to get up and try again. I love you dearly for all that you are. I am amazed by your inquisitive mind and tickled by your sense of humor. I may not want to admit it, but I even love your awful puns.
“You have stuck by me through the best and worst and loved all that I am. You help me to be the finest version of me that I can.”
As your wife, I promise to love you with the same determination and confidence you've given me. I vow to support you through more ups and downs. I pledge to commit myself to our family and the good I know will grow from it. I promise this all to you until I am no more." —Marissa
• "Never could I've imagined that the best gift of my entire life would come from my 21st birthday party. Not a materialistic item given from one person to another, but a life, a soul, and a connection given to two at the same time.
“There you were, sitting on the floor, just waiting to shake up my life and to light up my whole world.”
That's the night we met by nothing but chance of a friend of a friend of a friend inviting you. The night that forever entangled our energies and our atoms. Our paths would have never crossed and I would never have met my soulmate if it weren't for that silly celebration of age." —Andrew
• "Andrew, you are the partner I've always longed for and this day is nothing short of my wildest dreams.
“I remember seeing you for the first time and feeling in my gut you were someone I needed to know.”
I went home after that night and saved every measly penny I made at my retail job for weeks until I could afford to take you out to dinner. Every day feels like I'm remembering who you are instead of getting to know you. Your light is blinding, your laughter is contagious, and your love is otherworldly." —Caterina
Humor
• "Marissa, I love you with all my heart. I have been thankful for these past two years that you were not the best driver on that fateful day. Stopping in the middle of a busy 90/04 to see if everyone was okay, there I met the woman who is standing before me today. When we started dating, I gained a family, a woman who loves me, and an adorable whippet—both of whom I adore with all my heart. We have survived trials and tribulations, from Hurricane Irma to differing political views, we have pulled through.
“We are survivors and with our perseverance and dedication, there is nothing we can't accomplish or overcome.”
I promise to take care of you even when you get food poisoning on New Year's Eve. I promise I will unclog the shower even though only one of us has long hair. Marissa, I love you unconditionally and always will." —Gabriel
• "Devin Lee, it is impossible for me to put into words the passionate and infinite embrace you have on my heart. You make me a full person. Committing the rest of my life to you is actually pretty easy because without you I am nothing. As we begin our life together in front of those whom we are closest to, I make the following vows: I vow to wake up every morning and thank God that he gave me you, my perfect woman, and I vow to be your steady rock in turbulent times. I vow to put your needs before my own.
“I vow to sell my tacky furniture. I vow to watch reruns of Gilmore Girls and Friends.”
I vow to be the man that you inspire me to be and the man that you deserve. Finally, I vow to spend every day I have left on this Earth showering you with a zealous love and a faithful commitment. A love that many waters cannot quench, a love that floods cannot drown." —Jeremy
• "Kristen, as the cliché says, you showed up when I was least expecting you. I intend to love you, hold you, and grow very, very old with you. These are my promises: I promise to always be there when you have troubles, and to know that sometimes simply letting you talk about your problems is enough. I promise to be the most dependable person in your life. I promise you that laughter will always be commonplace in our house. I promise to do my best to age gracefully in body and soul and not to become a cranky old man.
“I promise, from this day forward, to live my life as a member of a band and not a solo artist.”
I promise to lead and follow accordingly and to keep our relationship in good balance. To quote a favorite writer, 'You fill up all those empty spaces.' For that I am grateful, and every day you will see that appreciation." —Dennis
• "Dennis, I am truly blessed to be a part of your life, which as of today becomes our life together. I promise to encourage your dreams because that is what makes you so unique. I promise to celebrate the joy of every day with you. I promise to stand by your side through life's most joyous moments and challenging ones. I promise to be kind, patient, and forgiving. I promise to always honor your passion for hockey.
“I promise to always remember that laughter is life's sweetest creation, and I will never stop laughing with you.”
But most of all, I promise to be your true companion always, for one lifetime with you could never be enough." —Kristen
Non-Religious
• "Alicia, it was 2013 but it feels like only yesterday when a beautiful, tall young lady took my breath away. Who would have guessed back then that we would be standing where we are today.
“You swept me off my feet, encouraged me, supported me, and shaped me into the better man who stands before you.”
In a matter of seven years, we have seen the world. Made memories, friendships, and a trusting bond that will last a lifetime. And I can only imagine what we can achieve in the years to come. It's the small things about you that make you shine so brightly. I would say your smile is something I would wake up to a million times. But we both know it's the fuzzy hair, grummy Alicia that truly shines when I'm pulling you out of bed in the morning. I promise to always be there for you. I'll trust you, care for you, but most of all, I will always love you." —Cam
• "Statistics say there is a one in four hundred trillion chance of being born. That means the chance of meeting the perfect woman, wife, and mother is even more slim than that, but somehow I managed to do it. Every time I sat down to write my vows, my hands would cramp. Just to show me how painful love could be. My pencil kept breaking just to show me that love always takes a little more work than you planned.
“I'm far from a love poet but if I was to wake up tomorrow and write about love, I would write about you. “
I do believe in fate and destiny, but also believe the choices we make play a huge role in that. If I had to choose I would choose you in a hundred lifetimes and in 100 worlds I would find you and I would choose you." —Andrew
• "Andrew, my best friend, my compass, my husband from this day forward. You were the greatest, most magnificent man I've ever know. I never believed much in destiny or faith until it led me to you. I'd always thought that it would be difficult to find someone who will love me when I'm always scattered in a thousand pieces. Kind of like trying to finish a puzzle when you aren't even sure if you have all the right pieces in front of you. But then you showed me that every piece doesn't have to be perfectly in place to create something beautiful.
“You showed me that love can exist even in the most imperfect people. You've embraced and accepted me and everything that came along with me since day one.”
You welcomed Macy and Stella with open arms and loved them just as your own. So today in front of our family and friends I promise you these things. I promise to love you unconditionally and without hesitation. I promise to always try to give you the best of myself and even though I can't promise that our love will be perfect, I can promise you that it will be beautiful whether we're a thousand pieces or just one." —Kaitlen
